


Shadows

by darkangel86



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Post 2x10: By the Light of Dawn, all the hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 10:52:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10188299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkangel86/pseuds/darkangel86
Summary: “You might as well come inside, Raphael, and stop loitering in the hallway.” Magnus called from inside the loft. He'd already had enough with all the shit he had been dealing with since the attack on the Institute and a suddenly timid Raphael lingering outside of his front door was not on his to do list. At least not this soon.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my name is Ashley and I'm addicted to writing about these characters cuddling.
> 
> This one is a little more angsty then the one I posted the other night so be warned. Also there is one very vague reference to suicide here but its a passing thought so I didn't think it needed its own separate warning.

“You might as well come inside, Raphael, and stop loitering in the hallway.” Magnus called from inside the loft. He'd already had enough with all the shit he had been dealing with since the attack on the Institute and a suddenly timid Raphael lingering outside of his front door was not on his to do list. At least not this soon.

Raphael stepped through the door, flinching when Magnus' magic slammed it shut behind him.

“I suppose this was bound to happen eventually. I assumed it would take a little longer before you showed up at my doorstep or maybe I'd end up having to seek you out. Either way, come in. I'd say make yourself at home but I find I only want my family to be comfortable in my home.” Magnus said harshly as a sudden pang of regret tugged at his heart.

“Papa, please.” Raphael whispered brokenly.

“Oh, I'm sorry. Now I'm your family? Now, when you obviously need my help, now we're family? Not when you ordered your clan members to restrain me, not when you were seconds away from biting Clary! We obviously weren't family then, Raphael, so why exactly do you assume we're still family now?!” Magnus all but screamed, his eyes cat like and yellow with wisps of red light emitting from his fingertips.

“I'm sorry.” Raphael said instantly, averting his eyes from Magnus' heated gaze.

“While I don't doubt that you are, did you really believe it would be that easy? Did you really think you could walk in here, apologize to me and I'd be over everything that's happened? Raphael, look at me!” Magnus snapped. “You have been feeding off of a Shadowhunter! You know as well as I do how dangerous that is, for you and for her! You attempted to kill Clary in some misguided attempt to save your people! Do you really believe that would have helped at all? No, of course it wouldn't have helped! It would have incited another war between the Shadowhunters and your clan, you selfish child! Never mind that your broke my heart in all of this, Raphael. You broke my heart.” Magnus' voice broke, his bottom lip quivering.

“Papa, please. I am so sorry.” Raphael cried as he took a step closer to Magnus. He flinched when Magnus took a step back from him.

“You need to leave, Raphael. Now. Before Alec or Jace or anyone else gets back because if you think I'm unhappy with you, you don't know what a pissed off Shadowhunter is like.”

“But-” Raphael started, his eyes wide with fear.

“Go. Sober yourself up. Think about what's happened and what you did and maybe, in a few days, we'll talk more like the civilized people we are. I just can't deal with this right now.” Magnus said as he rubbed at his eyes. He could feel a migraine forming.

Raphael turned, his eyes burning with unshed tears, and left the loft.

Magnus felt his resolve break. Slamming the front door closed and throwing open the door to his bedroom, Magnus threw himself down onto this bed and cried himself to sleep.

&&

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Alec asked later on as they lay together in bed, his hands gently running through Magnus' hair.

“Thank you, darling, but no. I'm sure I'll be fine in a day or two.” Magnus mumbled against Alec's chest.

“You don't have to be okay with what happened, Magnus. Ever. He hurt you and its okay to not be okay with it.” Alec assured him and Magnus smiled when he felt Alec's arm tighten around his middle.

“Have I told you lately that you are the absolute best, Alexander? Because you are.” Magnus glanced up just in time to see a faint blush cover Alec's cheeks.

“Is this a private party or can anyone join?” Jace asked, already kicking off his shoes and climbing into Magnus' bed.

“Is there a reason you suddenly feel the need to cuddle with us, Jonathan or is this just a special occasion?” Magnus teased, lifting his arm and letting Jace curl up against him.

“I think I like Simon.” Jace muttered against Magnus' chest and Alec snorted.

“Yes. I do suppose that calls for cuddles, doesn't it?” Magnus chuckled.

“Also. He's here and he knows and I think he likes me too and I have no idea what to do.” Jace said, glancing over his shoulder already knowing that Simon was there.

“Oh, for the love of-” Alec muttered.

“You might as well come in, Sheldon. What's one more added to the pile?” Magnus sighed, waving Simon into the room.

“Thanks.” Simon mumbled as he climbed into the bed behind Jace, automatically wrapping his arms around the shadowhunter and burying his face in Jace's neck.

“This is new.” Magnus muttered, eyeing the two men who seemed a little too comfortable with each other.

“Kinda not.” Simon said. “For me anyways.”

Magnus pulled back just enough to look down at Jace and found the blonde man with pink flushed cheeks.

“Its not exactly been Clary I've been pining after.” Jace admitted.

“Pining?” Alec asked with a grin.

Jace looked up with a glare centered on his Parabatai.

“Apparently I don't really have those kind of feelings for Clary anymore. I just assumed I still did cause I've always loved her. No one was more shocked than I was when I realized she's basically my sister.” Simon groaned, once again hiding his face in the back of Jace's neck.

“Yeah. She's also not my sister anymore.” Jace said, surprising Magnus. “Valentine lied. Big shock there.” He sighed.

“And your feelings for Clary?” Magnus asked, curiously.

“I thought she was my sister. I didn't have a choice. I made myself move on.” Jace admitted, risking a shy glance over his shoulder at Simon. 

“And it had to be to the vampire?” Alec asked blandly only to be rewards with Magnus' elbow roughly shoved into his stomach.

“Hey!” Simon exclaimed, his head popping up from behind Jace.

“Clary knows,” Jace interrupted. “She's pissed so that's why we're hiding here.”

“Raphael came by earlier. He tried to apologize to me and I wouldn't accept it. I'm afraid I might have been a little too hard on him.” Magnus said sadly. “I'm the only family he has and I turned him away so that's why I'm hiding here.”

“He hurt you, Magnus!” Alec stressed. “There's nothing wrong with not being able to deal with it yet.”

“But who else does he have, Alec? I have you and apparently your Parabatai and his vampire now as well but who does Raphael have?” Magnus sighed, shifting around in bed so that he was lying on his back and could look up into Alec's face. “Raphael has been with me since he was turned and I turned my back on him tonight, Alec! How could I do that?”

“So call him. Tell him to come over and talk.” Simon interjected, looking over Jace's shoulder with a smile. “We're here if you need us, or we can stay hidden in here. Either works for me.”

Magnus turned to look up at Alec once again. He smiled when his young lover nodded in reassurance at him.

Shimmying out from between Alec and Jace, Magnus ran his hands through his product free hair with a groan, pulling at it slightly.

“You three stay here. I've got to deal with this on my own. I do appreciate your offer of assistance but Raphael is mine to deal with whatever the outcome. For your troubles though-” Magnus stopped abruptly and snapped his fingers.

“Sweet!” Simon exclaimed when the giant flat screen tv suddenly appeared in the room. “Thanks, Magnus!”

“Its set up to play whatever movie or television show you want. Enjoy yourselves and rest while I go take care of this situation.” With a sigh, Magnus turned and closed his bedroom door behind him. He pulled out his phone, sent a quick text to Raphael informing him to be ready, that a portal would be waiting for him in roughly ten minutes and that Magnus would see him soon. He really hoped things went better this time around.

&&

Raphael stepped through the portal minutes later and Magnus quickly zeroed in on the dark circles that had formed under his eyes. Those hadn't been there hours before.

“Oh, my sweet boy.” Magnus said, opening his arms and pulling Raphael into a fierce, protective hug. “I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. I shouldn't have made you leave.”

“I understand why you did.” Raphael said as he pulled back out of Magnus' embrace. “I didn't deserve your kindness. I still don't.”

“You didn't deserve my anger either.” Magnus said plainly. 

“I deserve everything I get at the moment. I only made things worse. I knew. I knew what helping Isabelle would mean and I didn't care. I wanted it. That feeling, that high that her blood brought me. I craved it. I'm still craving it.” Raphael explained anxiously as he paced back and forth in front of Magnus.

“Darling-” Magnus started.

“No. There is no excuse for what I have done. I knew better!” Raphael suddenly exclaimed, his eyes filled with shame. “I just wanted to help her.” He finished, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“I know, nak, I know you did.” Magnus gathered Raphael into his arms again, holding the shaking vampire close. “Listen. Listen to me. You had the right intentions. You did. But darling, you went about them all wrong.”

“I know, papa.” 

“I want you to sit down now and wait while I find something to help you, okay?” Magnus said as he walked Raphael into the main room and sat him down on the couch. “I'm not going to make you go through this alone. I would never do that. Its going to be difficult, as you know, but I have a potion or two that will help ease the pain while your body detoxes the shadowhunter blood still in your system. I hate to ask,” Magnus sighed. “But how long has it been since you last drank from Isabelle?”

“A few hours before the attack on the Institute.” Raphael admitted.

“More than a day then. You should already be feeling the withdrawal affects.”

“Yes.” Raphael groaned.

“Wait here. I'll be right back.” Magnus said as she stood and made his way towards his potions cabinet.

Raphael removed his jacket and laid it across the arm of the chair across from him. Deciding he didn't care at this point, he also removed his shoes and pulled his legs up against his chest. His body ached for more shadowhunter blood. It had been decades since Raphael could remember ever feeling the kind of blood thirsty need he was feeling. It shouldn't have been possible but Raphael felt like his entire body was on fire while at the same time his teeth chattered from being so cold.

“Here, nak, drink this.” Magnus said, startling Raphael and causing him to jerk around in surprise. “It will taste terrible but it's going to help.”

Raphael took the small bottle from Magnus and drank it all down in one gulp. It tasted rancid but Raphael couldn't have cared less. He needed this ache inside to stop before he did something drastic himself and made it stop.

“It hurts, papa,” Raphael cried, his body racked with pain.

“I know. I know it does, nak." Magnus' heart broke as he sat down and pulled Raphael into his arms. “This will help. It will. You just have to give it a little time and you'll feel better. Then we'll work another potion into your system and that one will probably make you sick for a day or two but then, oh my sweet boy, then you will feel so much better. You'll feel like your surly, snappish self again.” Magnus rocked Raphael, rubbing circles on his back in hopes that it helped sooth him, even a tiny amount.

“Magnus...” Alec's quiet voice called out and Magnus looked up. “He okay?”

“He will be.” Magnus replied and Alec nodded.

“Bring him to bed if you want. One more won't make a difference.” Alec said and Magnus sighed in relief.

“Come on, darling. Let's get you into bed where you can sleep some of this off.” Magnus stood and pulled Raphael up and into his arms as he walked them into his bedroom.

“You don't mind?” Raphael asked, stopping inside the doorway to Magnus' room in surprise.

“I've already got one extra shadowhunter and my very own vampire in my bed as it is so no, one more won't hurt.” Magnus chuckled, his eyes crinkling in the corner as he laughed.

“Trade me places, Jace,” Simon said, already climbing over the blonde man and motioning for Raphael to join him. “Come on, Raph. You can cuddle with me since I don't think Jace is exactly your type. Not that I mean I am!” He exclaimed with wide eyes.

Beside him, Alec groaned.

“Yes, please come cuddle with him. Maybe you can keep him quiet.” Alec begged.

“Doubtful.” Jace snorted as he attempted to get comfortable again.

“You guys both suck.” Simon pouted and across from him, Alec smirked as he made eye contact with Magnus.

“ _Later_.” Magnus mouthed with a smirk and Alec grinned. “I think we all deserve a nice, restful sleep at the moment so I've set the wards to only alert us if its Clarissa or Isabelle. Anyone else will just have to make due without us.”

“Thanks, Magnus.” Alec said with a smile and open arms.

Magnus immediately crawled into Alec's arms, wrapping his own around Alec's middle and burying his face in his shoulder. Behind him, Magnus felt Raphael's arms tentatively wrap around his waist with shaking hands.

“Its okay, darling. Whatever you need.” Magnus said and Raphael immediately moved closer, pressing himself flush against Magnus' back.

“Thank you, papa,” Raphael whispered.

“Thanks, Magnus,” Jace spoke up, from behind Simon. “For letting us stay.”

“Of course. Anything for family.” Magnus said, hiding his smile against Alec's chest. “Now get some rest and later when everyone wakes up, I'll make a nice big breakfast.”

“You don't have to do that.” Alec said and Magnus scoffed.

“I know that, darling, but I want to so hush now and let me sleep. I am exhausted.” With a sigh, Magnus closed his eyes and let sleep wash over him. He'd worry about everything else tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Bayi is Indonesian for Baby or so google translate tells me.


End file.
